How to accomplish the important things that somehow keep slipping

All throughout my 20s and most of my 30s, I'd have these great ideas for ways to improve my life: writing in a journal, or making a schedule for myself, or organizing all the projects and hobbies I love. More often than not, none of those things would ever get accomplished. Demands of life would get in the way. I'd completely forget about them, as if I never had the idea in the first place. As a result, years would go by and I would wonder where the time went and why I never did those things.

Other times, when faced with unexpected free time, I'd squander it because I couldn't make a decision on what to do with that time. So many hobbies and projects, so many things vying for my interest and my time, where do I even start?

Does this sound like you? Are there things you want to do, then forget to do, only to remember later and think, “oh, right, I wish I did that more often!”?

If so, I hope this post will help you.

The secret: identify the things you want to do, make them obvious so you don't forget them, and make them automatic so you don't have to make the decision to do them.

Let's work through those three things in reverse order.

How do you make them automatic?

Do you brush your teeth every day? Do you shower regularly? Is there something you do every morning, automatically, without thinking about it?

Those are habits. A habit is a behaviour that, when repeated enough times, becomes completely automatic. You don't have to think about it: it just happens.

There's three parts to a habit: a cue, an action, and a reward. The most important part is the cue, which tells your brain it's time to do the habit. What cues you to start brushing your teeth? What cues you to do the thing you do every morning, automatically?

Next is the action, which is the actual thing we want to do. Lastly is the reward, which reinforces the habit. Feeling clean after a shower, or that minty fresh feeling after brushing your teeth. That's the reward.

It also works for bad habits. Think about it: feeling a bit bored or uncertain of what to do? Pick up your phone. Open social media. New notifications! There's your reward for a social media habit.

The cool thing about habits is that we can intentionally create new ones for ourselves. It takes a bit of time and effort, but it's well worth it. The other really cool thing about habits is that we can stack them. Finishing one habit is the cue for the next one.

Do you have a sequence of habits you complete every morning? Right after you wake up, what comes next? And what's after that?

For me, it looks something like this:

And so on. These are all things that just happen automatically, without thinking about it, because I've been doing them for so long. What does yours look like?

Could you add another habit to the end of that?

How do you make them obvious?

If you struggle with remembering and starting tasks, with bottled up feelings, with feeling like you're underachieving and wouldn't it be great if I could just finish those half dozen projects, the most important habit I can recommend is checking in with a notebook.

A notebook is your springboard to doing everything else. Having a notebook, and checking in with it frequently, serves as a foundation for everything else you want to do. It serves as an outlet for feelings, a mirror for reflecting on yourself, a vault for all of your random ideas, and an obvious reminder for all the things you want to do.

You can use any format that makes sense to you: a physical notebook or notepad, a Notes app on your phone or computer, etc. Personally, I use an app called Obsidian, which has a Daily Note feature that I use pretty extensively.

First, you need to start by making the notebook habit obvious. In the early days of creating a habit, I've found it incredibly helpful to set reminders to myself to do the habit. Create a daily reminder in my phone, or a daily event in my calendar, put a post-it note in a place I know I'll see it, reminding myself to do this habit. Those reminders are your cue while you're developing the habit. Eventually, you won't even need the reminder.

How do you identify the things you want to do?

For me, it's easy to identify the things I want to do. My trouble is remembering that I wanted to do them. I'll have a thought, then get pulled away from that thought by work or social media or something else, and that thought is gone. Usually some time later, I'll remember having that thought, and be frustrated that 3 months has gone by and I never followed through on that.

That's where the notebook comes in. I write down everything, because I know I won't remember otherwise. My notebook – my journal – is my coach, constantly reminding me of what I said I wanted to do, of important lessons I've learned, of random thoughts I've had that I wanted to keep.

Lastly, keep it simple.

Habits take time to become automatic, and trying to create too many habits all at once can be too much. It takes a lot of mental effort to keep track of all the things you want to be doing differently, so just focus on changing one thing. Just focus on checking in with a notebook every day. Give it 2-3 weeks to catch on and become automatic.

Once you're habitually checking in with a notebook, you can use the notebook to start accomplishing the other things you want to do.

Does this sound like something you’d like to try? I’d be happy to help in any way I can! Shoot me a message on Mastodon @nomadave@mindly.social and let’s share our intentions and work together to stay focused and build new habits.