Dave the Nomad

After last week's post, I started going down a rabbit hole of research on indecision, because I recognized that I was struggling to make decisions where there's no clear upside or downside.

That led to going down an ADHD rabbit hole, buying a book called Driven to Distraction, and almost finishing it in the span of a couple of days. This coming from the guy who has been reading two other books for the last 3 months and is nowhere close to finishing them. Fixation much?

I hate to self-diagnose, but a lot of the ADHD experience resonates with me. And it's not just casual forgetfulness and procrastination, it's a deep inability to follow through on things, an inability to start things even though I want to do them. The need for a structure in order to get anything done. Episodes of hyperfixation where I go really deep on something, lose sleep over it, forget to eat and drink and shower. Hell, even on a regular basis, I forget to shower unless it's in my task list.

That being said, I also feel like my experience is manageable enough without medication and with the proper structure and systems in place. Whether or not I have it, the mental model of ADHD helps me recognize and understand some of my behaviour, and how to cope and manage it better. I don't feel like a professional diagnosis would change anything.

What happened this week?

Engaging with the ADHD rabbit hole gave me a huge energy spike. For the last couple of months, I've been trying to figure out how to feel that energy spike. How to get that energy back. I've been in an energy trough for so long. What's interesting is that my eating, sleeping, and exercise habits didn't change at all. The only thing that changed is that my brain was engaged on a new topic. How do I sustain that engagement? Can I sustain it? Is it even sustainable? Or do I have to accept the rotating highs and lows as that’s just how my brain works?

What went well?

I found it really helped me to check-in on a daily basis with a variety of people to help keep me focused and accountable. I checked in and shared my daily intentions with my best friend and my step-daughter, who I thought would also benefit from a daily check-in.

I also started doing daily writing check-ins on the Mindly.Social Discord server. I set a specific daily writing goal: 250 words or sit for an hour, whichever happens first. And having multiple projects to choose from – this blog, my travel blog, and a possible fiction project – helps me make sure I write, even if I'm not feeling into one of those projects.

With the new insight about structure, I worked on building a habit stacking plan.

What didn't go so well?

Given my fixation on the ADHD rabbit hole, it was incredibly hard to get focused on work. The only time I managed to get any real work done was when there was serious external pressure – something broke and I needed to urgently fix it, or I felt like someone at work was waiting for something specific to be done. Deadlines for the win, I guess?

Daily physical activity eluded me. I totally forgot to do any kind of finance management on the weekend, and even forgot to get some bills paid. Thankfully I did remember eventually – at 2:30am Sunday night :D

What did I learn?

I learned how important and necessary structure is to my sense of well-being. On top of that, I learned that having a trusted friend or group of people to keep me accountable contributes greatly to that structure. Using tools like body doubling, coaching, and accountibilibuddies, are necessary to my success and consistency.

How can I improve next week?

I need to manage my expectations, and realize that I can't change everything all at once. With that in mind, I need to focus on building one consistent habit for at least the next couple of weeks, before I can consider adding another one.

That habit is writing. Every day, after I finish writing in my journal, I'll write at least 300 words or sit for an hour.

Next week, I also want to finish building a habit stacking plan for myself, and making adjustments to my journal to add more structure to my planning.

#ADHD #Mindfulness #SelfCare #Journaling #PersonalGrowth #Neurodivergent #AmWriting #Writing #WritingCommunity #Habits